1.09 am.

1.09 am.
Sleeping deeply, eyes snap open
Heart racing, mind racing, trembling, sweating, gulping air
Panic … dying …
Sitting up; straighten back, hands in lap
Raging storm persisting
Counting breaths
One, one, two, two, three, three, four, four, five, five … one, one …
Faltering, continuing
Slowly … slowly … slowly quietening …

Photo courtesy of Roberto Tumini on Unsplash

Life · Meditation · Reading

Into the Heart of Mindfulness – Ed Halliwell

The author’s personal story of depression and anxiety and subsequent journey into mindfulness is presented with raw honesty and wisdom, and will resonate with many experiencing the same challenges. There are also clear instructions for a range of meditation practices.
In a world where meditation and mindfulness have become rather commercialised and surrounded by hype, Ed Halliwell’s book is a breath of fresh air. He talks about the hard yards of meditation and the fact that even after fifteen years of practice he still has occasional relapses. These relapses are met with mindfulness and as time goes by are decreasing in length and power.
A couple of the take home messages for me are his observations “… that I was a normal human being experiencing normal human suffering (and reacting to it unskilfully) … ” and also to “… be with whatever is happening …

Ed Halliwell – Into the Heart of Mindfulness

Press Pause


Some events test us. One of the things we can do, is pause periodically, take a deep breath, allow things to be as they are, then gently proceed.self-respect“Breathe. You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.”
~ Daniell Koepke

Daniell Koepke, Internal Acceptance Movement
Photo courtesy of Pixabay


Living With Anxiety

“Anxiety was born in the very same moment as mankind. And since we will never be able to master it, we will have to learn to live with it—just as we have learned to live with storms.”
~ Paulo Coelho